I'm Back

It's been over a year since I posted anything on this blog, but I decided to start again as a way of coming to terms with my addiction to food.

Last year when I stopped writing, it was because I found out I had skin cancer on my nose. It turned out to be quite serious, and after 10 months of surgeries, I look amazingly better, but sadly, my face will never really be what it was before.

During the last year, I felt like Frankenstein's Bride, and so what did it make if I ate what I wanted and got FAT?

I hated how my face looked and over the course of the year my body morphed from a size 10/12 to a size 18! When I looked in the mirror, I hated myself completely.

Then I got a call from a friend who reminded me that no one had given up on me. She was loving, gentle, and encouraging. I started to believe that if I just took hold of myself, I could do it again!

The hardest part was going back to class. My first meeting when I returned I showed up really early. I'd packed a nice breakfast, to eat after I weighed in. Tami was there. She has been with we through thick and thin. She weighed me in and I weighed more than I ever had.

But I was back! I didn't fall apart, and the world didn't end because I had gained all my weight back plus a few extras.

I have nearly 60 pounds to lose now to get back to my goal weight. And I am determined to do it.

I've weighed, measured and planned each meal and snack. I have filled my water bottle over and over and over again.

I refuse to give up on myself. Ever.