Denial

It's funny, but I was thinking about how hard I worked the first time I reached my goal weight. I was scrupulous in my journaling, and the weighing and measuring of all of my food.

Then I played a few games that ultimately led me to gaining back about 30 pounds! I only weighed in once a month. I won't do that next time. I will weigh in each week. When I gained weight, instead of stopping my wayward eating, I ignored it and told myself I was holding fluid. (Right! Like 15 pounds, was just a little overnight fluid gain!)

I got sloppy with the weighing and measuring of my food, and when I did weigh in and gained, I would chalk it up to having had an emotionally bad week. As if eating away my unhappiness was somehow okay.

Then, since I had donated all my big clothes and only had 8's 10's and 12's in my closet, when I reached the point of not fitting into the twelves at all, well that really caught my attention.

I refused to go out and buy more clothes, that meant I could only wear the yoga pants I had. With long sweaters. However, they were not long enough. My hips and thighs were always trying to sneak out and humiliate me!

An entire closet of clothes going to waste! I could not deny it any more.

I think we all go along the river of denial! Something along the way will rock the boat, and suddenly we can't deny it.

What opened your eyes?